I have planned over 300 weddings, made over 2,500 bouquets and served over 60,000 guests. I have worked with over 300 brides and their mothers. Sadly, I have watched relationships fall apart through the wedding planning process. I have often thought, “what I would tell my three beautiful daughters about their wedding day?” So, I thought I would write them a letter based on my experience as a wedding planner… and a mother.
A letter from the wedding planner to her daughter, the bride.
Dear baby girl,
Where has the time gone? I can’t believe you are engaged. When you were little, I prayed for the person you were going to marry. I wanted him to be a person who would honor, respect, cherish, adore, support and love you unconditionally like your Dad and I have all these years.
When you were a little girl we were with you from your first step, and every step along the way, that has led you to today. We were the ones at every sporting event, performance and academic achievement. I always knew this day would come, and through the years I have slowly been letting go to be able to give you away to another person.
Give you away. Why does it have to be called that? Why do we have to “give” you away? You know we will always be with you when you need us, but now you will give yourself to someone else. This is the most important decision you will ever make. I know… no pressure… right? I am so happy that you have found the person who will enhance this journey we call life.
Throughout your life, you have had so many people feeding you information. You have had to process all of that information along the way. Some of it was good advice and other advice was not. In the end, you have had to be the one who is happy with the decisions you have made.
We are about to enter another amazing phase of life. You get to plan your perfect wedding day. I am certain you have thought about this day for a very long time. Believe it or not, I have too. I have often wondered what your dress would look like, what colors you would pick and who would be in your bridal party. I have spent many nights thinking about the moments that you and your Dad will get to share on this day.
This should be an amazing time in your life, but please remember through it all that we are planning for the first day of your marriage. That is what is most important. Again, people are going to state their opinion about what you are doing. There will be those who will try and steal your joy. Please don’t let them. Don’t let them win.
I want you to know that your wedding day is a reflection of your relationship. Yes, there will be a beautiful setting, music, food, and you will be stunningly gorgeous. There will also be bumps along the way. You will cry… I know you. And that’s ok. You can have your “moments,” but let them only be moments… not days or weeks or months. Don’t forget to keep dating your fiancé. I mean, this is why we are all here. Don’t lose that in all of the details being planned around you. Don’t forget the biggest detail is to nurture your relationship.
When you pick your wedding vendors, pick people that you enjoy being around. Build a relationship with them. Trust that they are doing, and will do a great job. Trust in the process and enjoy each moment along the way. In the end, you will remember one thing about your wedding day. You will remember the people who were with you along the way. Those people and relationships are what is most important. No one will remember the carpet in the venue that you can’t change, or the drunk guest. Well…they might remember the drunk guest. What they will remember is how the two of you expressed your love to each other and the commitment you have made for the rest of your life.
On your wedding day, take mental pictures all day long. Stop and look around. Take in the faces, voices and sounds around you. Laugh… cry… and love. So much stress is put on a “perfect” day. Who is to say a day is perfect or not? Only you have the power to control if your day is perfect. Your attitude dictates that. Celebrate it and know that this day is just the beginning.
I now understand why we gradually begin to let go of our children. If we held on too tightly, the pain would be too great. Instead of being sad, I will choose to be thankful and joyful for the decision you have made. I will look forward to life after the wedding day. There is so much more life to live after this day. Remember along the way to guard your heart and live fully in each moment. It will fly by.
Before you know it, I will be helping you step into your dress and making sure you are perfectly put together for your groom. I will then watch each step you take down the aisle with your Dad, and remember the first steps you took in life.
This is one day of many amazing days to come. If you need anything along the way, I will be here for you.
I am so proud to be your Mom. Now, let’s have a blast!!!
Always adoring you for who you are,
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